I went down on myself last night;

flaps of skin,

a dark cavern,

my tongue

and salt.

A black hair was caught in my teeth,

but I didn’t care.

The lion catches the eye of the gazelle:

we both know what will happen here.

I am haunted by the glimpses

I sometimes catch of you

in the twilit consciousness

just before sleep:

your hair long and free

or your beard neatly trimmed,

smiling at me

from the next pillow over

or bent double,

laughing-to-tears,

while waves crash around you,

soaking your loose flannel.

And I want you to know

I could make all the worlds spin forever

just lying here

imagining your hands

and your knees

and the warmth of your thigh

so close to mine;

is it mine?

dearest william,

You sat down at the table

against mine in the café,

joining some acquaintances

and pretending not to notice

(Come on, how could you not?

I could smell your warmth

and feel your eyes)

while I read and listened.

 

You tried to impress them(: me)

by reciting some lines of Pound,

and they were mesmerized

by your sharp mind and those

deep blue eyes shelved above

that ridiculous, cocky grin;

I remained visibly nonplussed

when you turned to check,

 

but maybe I should have

told you then the surprise it was

to hear my favorite poem

alive on your lips

and given you the approval which,

withheld, you craved so deeply.

 

You were in my dreams last night,

and I kissed you, slowly.

fried chicken

Champagne and sparklers,

a glorious crackling-fire

before grinning stars.

I closed my eyes and saw a fire.

Shadows danced on the faces

of the ancestors seated around me.

Across the circle: my great aunt.

“What do I do,” I asked,

“to be free?”

She pointed at the fire:

“Self-immolate.”

So I had this dream last night and I saw my future self and they were at the beach and their hair was blowing everywhere in the electric wind and they were bent double, gasping, laughing-from-the-gut and crying, crying, and they were just so damn beautiful and I woke up this morning and felt this wild and unruly and totally all-encompassing sense of raw potentiality radiating from somewhere deep in the core of my being and I want to pass that feeling along to you now because you’re here, right here, and you’re beautiful (gorgeous!) and I love you and you could anything (anything!) and, yeah, all this shit is ridiculous and terrifying and completely, completely, and utterly nonsensical, but for now—right now—it’s you and me and we’re here walking these words together and—when you stop to laugh at it, laugh with it—it’s also all just so quietly … amazing … .